That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
