I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize