can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
