did you get engaged???
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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