I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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