I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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