By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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