Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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