3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
