If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
