and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am mentally ready for anal.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
