I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
