I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
