i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
