Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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