you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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