He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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