is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
