Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
