He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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