Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
foreskin is a definite game changer
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
