its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sorry about my life...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
