Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
