I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
