I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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