I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
