So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
