Jerry, you need to find god
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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