There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize