There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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