In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
