You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
