Redeem this text for a blowjob
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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