forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
