i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Sorry my hands just texted you
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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