my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
