Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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