Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
