Define "chronic" masturbator.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
50% drunk capacity currently
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
we should paint friendship bongs
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