It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
