I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
