I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
