I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
