Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
