He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
this is an emotional support booty call
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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