have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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