If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A bitchslap is in order.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
