i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
