hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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