At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
