Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
