Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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