bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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