They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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