just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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