I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
