i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
