Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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