i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Terrible idea I love it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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