people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
